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The African Cichlid by ~fense:iconfense:



Settling in lakes Victoria and Malawi
Are the many fish we know too well as Cichlid,
Spread about the continent. So they show so free
And yet diverse and trapped in matchless id
That we are awed. Long they existed; long did
We seek to research those like Tropheus Brichardi.
Odd that they act human, though wild they may be.

Much was known of Cichlid to this day:
Scientists uncovered many tens of kinds
In Africa alone. Only now we know the way,
Not as before, to analyze such minds.
Colleges intent, on trips athwart the binds
So vast and wide: the great Atlantic, where friendly
Cousins swim, now studied ever more intently.

By and by this research seeks to venture and presume
That Cichlid species act with human traits.
Some, it seems, observe the ones who loom
Above the rest in battle. Years so prior state,
With limited technology, none the proper bait,
That fish are fish as men are men, but yet
These laws of observation now, in gills, are set.

Others have adapted, and have put to common use
The act of camouflage, but not here to protect
From enemies, or strike the creatures more obtuse.
Instead the clever males will all endeavor to perfect,
And perhaps apply the skill to stealthily reflect,
So newly, shades of female kind, to filch the food
And spoils owned among the members of the brood.

This does not, inherently, impress the learned man.
Many animals adapt to techniques such as this.
What one needs to comprehend is how this plan
Is thus enacted. Here it lies in cleverness
Of mind and sight and not inbred innateness
That for so long was suspected in a genus
Seen as minuscule as Iodotropheus.

Such a keen ability to act on observation
Calls to us to understand the Cichlid’s skill
To view a world of visual relation.
Be the deed to pilfer food, or train to kill
A foe, Cichlid very sensibly perform, and will
Use sight to move ahead. This leaves us to question, then,
How close these mermaids come to being men.
©2008-2009 ~fense
:iconfense:

Author's Comments

In a style known as rhyme royal, or (I believe) Chaucerian by the breeder of the style (and by whom I read a very stunning poem today), I bring you a short summary of the wonderful African Cichlid. I read an article about this group of fish in National Geographic today and had to research further, as I knew it was the perfect topic to use for ~EveningDownpour's workshop. Enjoy!

Comments


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:iconjohn-a-dreams:
I like your playing with syntax in this poem, it's slight enough not to take over the lines.

I'm not quite understanding what makes these cichlid's special among animals and how specifically they act as human though.
:iconfense:
The main point was that they learn battle tactics and the ability to camouflage as females not by instinct but by observation. This means that they are able to relate what they see to change their own action, showing stunning self awareness (for a tiny animal with a brain the size of a pea).

--
Why shun the demons we should meet,
When bitter lives are bittersweet? ©me
:iconeveningdownpour:
O! you brave, brave soul. Well done, well done. I offer you both my congratulations and my condolences for attempting such a noble form.

I know that you are trying to inform and instruct, but much like the other person who commented, I am not entirely sure what I am supposed to be learning or seeing from reading this poem. What particular facts did you feel were most important to get across? Why did you think that this form, among so many others, would be the most appropriate to get those facts across? I am all for form for the sake of form in exercises, but ultimately the form must match the poem's purpose and intent, and I am not sure this does.

More than that, I do not often want to read a poem for a summary. I want the poem to teach me something without letting me feel like I am learning. I want it to imply connections that I can later make, with thought and discovery, and I want it to attait to images in my life or experiences that will help me nver to forget what I have learned. Here, I just see facts presented in a rhyme scheme with some general commentary added between, and it takes much of the joy out of reading about the fish.

I think it is the perfect topic. I also think it wants to be better than it is right now.

--
`GeneratingHype thinks I have a problem with being nice.
:iconfense:
Well I interpreted the challenge as a contest to poetically arrange information, as if one were to open an encyclopedia and see all of the information in poetic forms instead of in paragraphs. I thought the point was to provide concrete knowledge poetically, in a way that they reader could appreciate while learning instead of appreciate while making individual connections. I believe the fifth stanza presented a pretty clear view about the uniqueness of this fish, that is is the fish's cleverness (in observation) that allows it to overtake competitors in battle or camouflage in order to steal food, not its instinct. Chaucer did not use this style to emphasize a certain feeling in his poems, he used it because it was singular and it was interesting, and a challenge, and I used it for the very same reasons.

--
Why shun the demons we should meet,
When bitter lives are bittersweet? ©me
:iconeveningdownpour:
:) It was a challenge to poetically arrange information, but I do not feel as if you have fully succeeded in this. The form, combined with the list-like information, simply does not feel as effective in regards to the workshop's purpose and some other options might have been. It seemed you neglected poetry for the sake of fact-finding and rhyme schemes. You may defend your choices, and I respect that, but (subjectively) I believe this poem has quite far to go.

--
`GeneratingHype thinks I have a problem with being nice.
:iconfense:
Between my frank misunderstanding of the workshop's purpose, as you put it, and my lack of any poetic undertone I do state that you are the correct one, the teacher, and I am still the pupil. Alert me if you have any other challenges in mind, I would be glad to (attempt to) prove my worth again.

--
Why shun the demons we should meet,
When bitter lives are bittersweet? ©me
:iconwriters-workshop:
Hello!

This piece has been added to the collection Nonfiction Poetry as it was a submission for the titled workshop.

Thank you

*Writers-Workshop

Details

February 25, 2008
2.2 KB

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